Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
we're so committed to being not committed
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
