S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
