I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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