I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
