he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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