I don't think brook has ever known best
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
