if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
