Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
