from now on my penis is your penis
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
