I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
