I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
