if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
