Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm at about main and main street
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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