Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
