doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
