do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
