I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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