why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
