I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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