woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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