are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
