Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
