I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
