Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
