Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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