Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
