I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
