Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
