big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
