i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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