I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
