Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
