His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
