He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
