the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
