nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Couch. On fire.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
