just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
