you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am one with the molecules
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
