people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
