doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
