I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
