well you can't waste a boner
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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