Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
