it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just google imaged poop.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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