She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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