No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
