you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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