please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
