its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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