OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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