you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
