To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
